


Lust

by Always in the Shade (Barnable)



Category: Robin Hood (BBC 2006)
Genre: Angst, Dialogue Light, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Non-Romantic Attraction, Not Beta Read, One-Sided Attraction, Period-Typical Homophobia, Secrets, Self-Acceptance, Unrequited Lust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:16:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24531415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barnable/pseuds/Always%20in%20the%20Shade
Summary: Allan thought he understood attraction but upon seeing Guy in a new light, he realized that his perception was rather flawed.
Relationships: Allan-a-Dale/Guy of Gisborne
Kudos: 10





	Lust

**Author's Note:**

> This one shot is lowkey based on Allan's expressions when he sees Guy shirtless in 2x06, though it takes place later in the series.

Lust.

That was the word for the sin he was committing.

The thing he was feeling. The way he was behaving. In the eyes of the King and God himself the feeling was a curse, a killer, a ticket to Hell. In the eyes of Allan, it was a mistake, uncontrollable, something to be rid of. But that was easier said than done and after far too many sleepless nights, wandering the castle and trying to free himself from his sinful thoughts, he finally gave up. He wasn't going to act on it. He _couldn't_ act on it. So how bad could it really be to let his mind wander just a little? To let his gaze linger on places he would never, ever touch?

When he first saw Guy without a shirt, Allan couldn't tear the awe from his face. There wasn't much to be said about his personality in terms of redeeming qualities but when it came to his body, there were more positives than could be counted. Allan's eyes widened each time he watched him, zoning out of whatever Guy had been talking about as he became focused solely on his chiseled chest, muscular arms, and abs of near steel. It was a sight so casual, so relaxed, and yet so magnificent he couldn't tear his eyes away.

And he hated it.

His entire life, Allan never understood what love was. He cared about people, sometimes so much so he thought he'd finally discovered what this mysterious “love” meant. But then it came time to admire a woman, touch a woman, kiss a woman, and he lost interest. Hugs were good. He liked hugs. But he had no desire to go further than a hug with any woman he'd met before, not when he managed to reach the point where it was welcome. He had nothing against women and, especially since meeting Djaq, viewed them with respect, but he wasn't attracted to them. He wasn't attracted to anyone.

Except Guy.

Giz.

Gizzy.

 _Fucking Guy of Gisborne_.

Given the way he treated the citizens of England, he didn't deserve a good feeling from anyone let alone Allan himself and yet for some reason, he couldn't tear his eyes away. He couldn't stop himself from thinking about how aesthetically beautiful Guy was, even if he weren’t exactly the greatest person to spend time with. He couldn't stop himself from daydreaming about the possibilities, the idea of what could happen if Guy weren’t predisposed with Marian and their theoretical escapades wouldn't get them both hanged. (Because it _was_ illegal, of course; any excuse for Vaisey to hang someone.)

Knowing how terrible his thoughts were and having acknowledged the fact they wouldn't just go away, Allan stopped himself from trying to make them vanish. He did his best not to delve too deep into his fantasies but sometimes his thoughts got away from him and he found himself distracted by Guy's all too excellent jawline instead of listening to what his mouth was commanding him to do. It got him into trouble, it resulted in him screwing up quite a few tasks, and it was far from a preferable feeling especially considering the repercussions should anyone—including Giz himself—find out what was happening inside of Allan's head. But the feeling in his stomach was so thrilling, so fresh, he didn't want to let go of the thoughts either.

Reciprocated or not, it was nice to finally know what it meant to be truly attracted to someone. What pure, physical attraction was without the added addition of love or friendship or anything sappy like that. Just raw lust and sexuality, things he'd never truly felt and things that weighed him down with such guilt he felt almost like a switch being tugged on and off each time he began to daydream. The visions were so nice, so vivid, so perfect, but the implications were disgusting. The things he felt were disgusting. The fact that he was going against what God and the law had ordained was disgusting.

But then again, a lot of things he did went against God and the law so what was one more notch on the belt?

“Allan.”

Even his voice was seductive as hell and when he said Allan's name it was better than anything. Though, admittedly, pretty much anything out of his mouth was better than the evil plans, crude comments, and threats of torture or death which he generally used that gorgeous voice for. While Guy's words sounded harsh and evil when he spoke to uncooperative citizens, it sounded lush, soft, and perfect when he said Allan's name, delving him deeper into his daydreams. Until he'd said it four times with no response and suddenly his tone turned back into the same one he used to shout at residents who failed to hand over their taxes.

Startled by Guy's loud and confused tone, Allan finally blinked out of his daydream, taking a deep breath as he became grounded back in reality. It was colder, darker, and harsher than the world he'd made in his head, but it was life and though as unfair as it was, he couldn't escape it. He was the one who abandoned his friends for himself and he was the one who was forced to pay the price, apparently by experiencing unsavory but surprisingly nice feelings for the man who was, by all accounts, in charge of him. Not that that was entirely a deal breaker, but it wasn't as if something was likely to come out of it.

“Sorry, I was just trying to get my head around everything,” said Allan, lying through his teeth. He hoped he sounded convincing, especially when he made his bullshit request. “Could you repeat that last bit? I want to be sure I don't make a mess of this.”

To Allan's disappointment, Guy pulled another shirt over his head, covering nearly all his skin as he walked back to the door of his bedroom. “You have quite the drive for someone who's only recently abandoned their old friends for their enemies.”

“Yeah. I suppose I've seen the light.”

Guy nodded as he swung the door open, heading out to the castle corridors. The only light Allan was truly seeing was the one that reflected through the windows and made Guy's clothing, hair, and eyes glisten like a pond, but he didn't have to know about that. No one had to know about the awful, beautiful fantasies he had when his mind started to wander.

No one except Allan A Dale and God himself.


End file.
